Some days the losses are more evident and more plentiful than the gains. If we were to do some math, it would seem the wins were far less than the losses. And I wonder if a lot of missionaries feel like this from time to time. And not just missionaries, but anyone who has made a decision to follow Jesus, really follow Him. Not just making space for God an hour or so on Sundays, but reordering your life to put the Kingdom first. There are days when you look at the way things seem on the outside and ask, I gave up ABC for this? THIS?
Has anyone out there ever had that day? Or the season? To be honest, that's where we've been.
And this past weekend, I came to the realization that No. No, we did not give up ABC for this? We made the decisions that we made to leave our families and the things that are familiar and predictable because we believe Jesus asked us to. Because any other way, the math just doesn't add up. But if the God of heaven who has given up his only Son so that we could know Him asked us to do something, then yes, yes. That is well worth it. The natural losses and gains that we see with our eyes, that's something different entirely.
It seems like only a slight change in thinking, but its not. Its huge. We gave up ABC, not for XYZ, but for Jesus. And He is well worth it. And He knows what He is asking. I'd love to say that lesson has been learned...but I have a feeling that I will have to circle back around to this one a few times. And for this, we have grace.
Mike (pediatric surgeon) and Julie (nurse/mother to two) living in Kenya, East Africa